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| The 4th of July in pictures! |
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| I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. |
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| Special celebrity death weekend update! |
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| I plan to be spontaneous... tomorrow. |
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Question: What would you call a virgin on a water bed?
Answer: A cherry float!
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuup!
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and
his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning
when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he
knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the
question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped
it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage
door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was a Cooper Mini with two flat
tires.'
The Count is a perv! Who
knew?
I would have kicked dirt on his shoes
Russian nuclear silo... museum?
No royalties? I'd be
pissed too
There will be hell to
pay for this one I'm sure
I wonder how many times
he's gotten laid off this trick
Air Force pounds MILF? What?
This site is minutes of high
quality entertainment
Star Trek bloopers...
enjoy nerds!
I
banged hookers in several of these hotels
This has got to be fake...
although it looks real
Got Herpes? Share your gift with people
just like you
My mom owns one of these... you
should too!
"Weasel, I’m writing in hopes that one of your illworld.com readers can help
me out. My name is Anna and I recently bought the DVD player shown in the
attached picture. I got the DVD player last month and like an idiot threw away
the box along with the programming instructions. There was a power outage last
week and now I can’t figure out how to set the time again. Could you post the
picture and see if anyone has this model DVD player? I really need help setting
this clock. Its constantly blinking 12:00 and is driving me nuts! Thanks, love
the site! –Anna"
Anna, thanks for emailing. We might be able to help you out however it will
require more pictures… LOTS more. Hurry please! -Weasel
There is fucktarded... then there is this guy.
And now... your happy ending!
Posted by Weasel on Thursday, June 25 @ 05:00:00 EDT
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| Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your week! |
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2 more days till the new Transformers movie comes out. I got
my tickets in advance last week! Yeah, I nerd out for the ‘formers. I have a
feeling Optimus Prime is going to get killed. My biggest wish is to see Megan
Fox naked but I know that aint happening. So I guess we can enjoy the picture
below for now. I find it funny that 25 years ago I used to rush home from school
to watch GI Joe and The Transformers. Now all these years later both have
feature length movies coming out this summer and I’ll be rushing home from work
to see them. See ya Wednesday Jetfire!
!
This kid is the poster child for "fail" now.
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year
Morris would say, 'Esther,I'd like to ride in that helicopter..'
Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty
dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85
years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'
To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and
fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'
The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take
the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't
say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty
dollars.'
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy
maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over
again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did
everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when
Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!
That a lot of
penguin doodie
This is how I drive around
my parking garage
There are a lot of Macs on this list
It would be amazing to snorkel The Great Barrier Reef
Groovy! (And well worth your 200 seconds!)
Barrel Monster says ROOAARRR!!!
Good
Lord... I wouldn't spend that much on a whole house
When Raptors attack... model airplanes!
THAT'S MY CAKE!!!
Treadmill videos ALWAYS end in fail... like this one
Thugs vs. 83 year old granny
I know father day was yesterday,
but incase you missed it here are some belated present ideas
I think this is what it looks like around my arse after eating nachos
If you have any funny
jokes, pictures or videos send them my way!
(And don't forget to look up illworld.com on Facebook and become a fan!)
Heck, I kinda like the Sarah Silverman!
Posted by Weasel on Monday, June 22 @ 05:00:00 EDT
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| Photos + illworld.com = Picture Dump! |
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| On the other hand... you have different fingers. |
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TGIM!! No seriously... I love my new job and I'm actually
happy to go to work. It's been several years since I've said that! Also, if you
have a Facebook account be sure to look up the illworld.com fan page. (just type
illworld.com in the search box on the top of any Facebook page) If you have any
funny jokes, pics, or videos
send them my way!
Today's theme... FAIL
Mid-FAIL
(aka fixin ta fail, fail in progress, gunna fail, half way to fail, etc...)
Toy Story 3
Don't taze me sonny!
Geez, no wonder I'm fat... look at what they fed me growing up!
My new favorite site! (besides illworld of
course) (NSFW)
Getting you
moneys worth at the drive through safari
Scare FAIL
Pea what?
Missing baby found in Sandwich!
Ok, this kid is funny...
Tsimfuckis in da hizzy beyotch!
Damien Walters is my new
comic book hero
We almost got
pwn3d by CFC's
STOP...HAMMER TIME!!!
Butt FAIL!
Parenting FAIL
A man is walking across a bridge when he finds a young girl about to jump off,
she tells him to not try and stop her.
So he says "OK, but Can I have a blowjob?"
Surprisingly she agrees and gets on with it.
"Wow" he says "That is one amazing talent going to waste there, why would you
want to jump for?"
She replies "because my Mom and Dad hate me dressing up as a girl ".
Racist camera FAIL
A very well-built young lady was lying on her psychiatrist's
couch, telling him how frustrated she was. "I tried to be an
actress and failed," she complained. "I tried to be a secretary
and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a
sales clerk and I failed at that, too."
The shrink thought for a moment and said... "Everyone needs
to live a full, satisfying life. Why don't you try nursing?"
The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful
breasts, points it at the shrink, and says... "Well go ahead, I'll
give it a try!"
Name FAIL SUPREME!
Posted by Weasel on Monday, June 15 @ 05:00:00 EDT
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| The most shocking update EVER! |
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HOLY SHI.....
THE MOST SHOCKING VIDEO
I'VE EVER SEEN!
How not to workout
These guys could
show LeBron James a thing or 5
You
think the cameraman shat his pants?
Bike vs. Car
This is where I store my crap
Type W
Future
laptops are sweet
Trimming the bush to make
the tree look taller
How to drink beer in public
and not get arrested
You've been requesting more of him ladies... enjoy!
Two gay men are walking down the street, and one decides to kick a can he sees
on the ground.
Smoke comes out from the can and a genie appears. "Thank you for releasing me
from my can. I will grant you 3 wishes."
The first gay man says, "okay, I want a HUGE mansion, decorated in all white and
everything furnished." "Okay," says the genie, and poof!
The gay men appear in front of a mansion.
The second gay man says, "okay, for our second wish, I want two matching Lincoln
Towncars, all white with white interior and fully loaded." Poof! Two cars, made
to order.
For the third wish, one of the gay men walks up and whispers something into the
genie's ear. "I'll be back at 7 PM." 7 PM rolls around and there's a knock on
the door.
Both men are excited, and when they open the door, there is a group of Klu Klux
Klan members on their front lawn. "What the hell did you wish?" says the first
man. "I just wished to be hung like a black man!"
Seriously... this could be fun!
Posted by Weasel on Thursday, June 11 @ 05:00:00 EDT
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Looks like the chick on her knees is going for Ronald's McNuggets
Q: Why do natives hate snow?
A: Because it's white and on their land.
Q: What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth?
A: Einstein's pecker.
Q: What has two legs and bleeds?
A: Half a dog.
Q: What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
A: They both live off dead Beatles.
Q: Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on
scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If
I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump
off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, Burritos again! If I get
burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bologna
sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and
cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a
burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna
and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known
how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have
given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could
have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so
much."
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,
"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch."
No really... there's a jet there.
The saddest sports news in the history of sad sports news
I wonder if this gets him laid?
Ok, number 12 is just creepy
The game would
be WAY cooler if they got rid of those damn playing cards
Need a hand... committing suicide?
Postman goes postal and
kills a dog... no really
Plane crash videos always
make me uneasy... but at least they got to the beach quickly!
Slow motion
car crashes (VERY cool)
Jewish cats! (for my
friend Nicole)
Megan
Fox makes my penis transform
Amazing WWII aviation photos
Good thing she didnt say "F me"
Forget the sewers,
what's it doing to my arteries?
Speaking of douchebags...
I present to you the illworld.com douchebag of the week!
Posted by Weasel on Monday, June 08 @ 05:00:00 EDT
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The lesbians next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday.
Very nice, but I think they may have misunderstood when I said, "I wanna watch."
I use these... they get my laid all
the time
Never knew Wall-E was a member of the armed forces
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Ahhh, so this is how txt messages work
Obviously he studied under Chuck Norris
FMLTWIA
Choose your Geek Squad
wisely
I love the
arcade classics
I'll admit... my plates used to say AMD ME
Reminds me of a morning after eating Mexican
It
like rodeo and drifting combined
Fire
extinguisher prank gone WAY wrong
I
cant stop watching these crazy Asian videos
This is how I buy my designer
condoms
Don't worry... I'm
staring too
I have a new favorite LPGA golfer. Her name is Natalie Gulbis. As you can see,
stretching is a very important part of her pre round ritual. Matter of fact she
does this better than anyone else on the LPGA. It makes me want to get my balls
out and stroke my iron a few times. Oh the thoughts of a bikini golf league are
running wild in my head!
There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink.
He stays like that for half-an-hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the
drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was
just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see
a man crying."
"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I
overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous,
fired me.
When I left the building to go my car, I found out it was stolen. The
police, said they could do nothing. I got a cab to go home, and after I paid
the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab.
I got home only to find my wife with the gardener. I left home
and came to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to
my life, you show up and drink my poison ..."
Fail Boat now boarding right on 7th street!
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: A Genealogist looks up your family tree, and a Gynecologist looks up your
family bush.
"A fortunetelling midget escapes from prison. The headline reads 'Small Medium
at Large !'"
Posted by Weasel on Thursday, June 04 @ 05:00:00 EDT
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Someone sent me this... NO clue. (but a little funny)
Nicole Catsouras, (Nikki) 18, lost control of a Porsche 911 at over 100 mph
Glad I was not driving (or
alive) in the 60's
How NOT to gain street cred
This is why I only eat
breakfast at Denny's and ihop
Good thing he
jumped over water
Whoops
Bikini chick fails at the backflip
Messin' with a squirrel
DO NOT click this if blood makes you queasy
Very cool
picture of the shuttle and Hubble telescope in space
Any story with nunchucks
deserves a link
Screw the Shamwow... try
these!
Snake FAIL
Dear Tech Support ,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct
slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry
applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as:
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs
such as NBA 5.0, . NFL 3.0, Golf Clubs 4.1 and Elk Hunting 5.5
Also Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the
system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to
no avail.
What can I do? Signed, Desperate
DEAR DESPERATE ,
First, keep in mind, . Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband
1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. HTML and try to download Tears 6.2 and
do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. . If that application works as
designed , Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry
2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7..0 or Beer 6.1 . Please note that
Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring
Loudly Beta..
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.020(it
runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your
system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 -program These
are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and
cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional
software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and . Hot
Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck!
Tech Support
That language is too vulgar for this website!
Posted by Weasel on Monday, June 01 @ 05:00:00 EDT
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| I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. |
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Mid-week update... It was just like last week and will be more
of the same next week.
Things are looking "up" down under
16yo Admits “I Wasn’t Wearing Panties” in high school yearbook
Disgusting
Hulk Hogan loves WHO?
Lamborghini Gallardo
Superleggera vs. Ferrari F430 Scuderia
I'm guessing
he's still unemployed
If you need to be
educated on it... you might be gay
Bike or rocket
launcher... you decide
18 disturbing sex toys
China builds first
sex theme park
And in other
Chinese sex park news...
Ow! My Balls!
Arkanoid...
always a good work day time waste
A couple, age 67, went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do
for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor
said, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." And he then
charged them $32.00.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have
intercourse, pay the doctor and leave.
Finally the doctor asked, "Just what exactly are you trying to find out?"
The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She is married and we
can't go to her house. I am married and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges $60.00 and the Hilton charges $75.00. We do it here for
$32.00, and I get back $28.00 from Medicare for a visit to the doctor's office."
If you have any funny jokes,
pics, videos, etc... send them my way
Click here to see the illworld.com douchebag of the week
Posted by Weasel on Thursday, May 28 @ 05:00:00 EDT
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| Happy Memorial Day! Go eat a hot dog! |
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With my
new job I’m finding it
harder to reserve time for updating the site. I’m going to move to a
larger, 2 post per week format. Feel free
to give feedback if
you’d like. My goal is to update on Monday and Thursday each week. (Maybe some
bonus weekend updates) If that’s
not enough for you than EABOD!
You recycle WHAT?
Ow My Balls! (now I need an iPhone)
Yeah, she's down at
the local dive trying to hook up with guys half her age
Alenka Bikar looks REALLY
fast
Really?
They went there?
You got a purtty smile boy
Sounds like the refrigerators at my old job
I have a
feeling that car is getting wet
This is how I park my Chevette
Shoot 'Em Up is such a great movie
Snake enjoying lunch
Bird vs. Plane 2
Now I understand why we're in a recession
A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary
for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor
informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she
pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read 'Fred Brown
died'."
Confounded at the woman's thrift, the editor stammers that there is a
7-word minimum for all obituaries. The woman pauses again, counts on
her fingers and replies, "In that case, 'Fred Brown died: 1983 Pick-up
for sale'."
A German shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out a
blank form and wrote, "Woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..
woof..woof...woof."
The clerk examined the paper and told the dog, "There are
only nine words here. You could send another 'woof' for the
same price."
The dog replied "What, and ruin the punch line?!"
Never knew they had any to start with
Posted by Weasel on Monday, May 25 @ 05:00:00 EDT
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| Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. |
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My Vacation - By Weasel
1.
2.
3.
4.
So the wife-like unit and I took a trip to Corpus Christi this past weekend. It
was a nice trip and I kind of like the area. We might look to retire there. Lots
to see and do. The vacation was going great until the last day. They say things
some in 3’s and that was certainly the case on Saturday. First, we’re driving up
Padre Island and come across a massive wildfire. (See pictures 1) We were told
it hasn’t rained there in months. Being surrounded by water I don’t see how it’s
possible but is. Once we get past that we decide the stop and fish. Right before
we’re ready to leave a boat comes ripping into the dock/ramps with the driver
yelling for everyone to get out of the way and they had a medical emergency.
Well some idiot swam across the channel and these guys hit him and tore up his
face with the propeller. (See pictures 2 and 3) Seeing all that blood made me
nauseous so headed back to the hotel. We’ll I’ll be damned if we didn’t get back
to the hotel and right across the highway there was a huge wreck that had it
shut down. (See picture 4). A truck clipped the front end of a car it was trying
to pass and flipped. Saw the details about this on the news. And that is
vacation day of horror! Enjoy the rest of the post. :-)
After seeing this picture I guess my vacation could have been worse...
This is the kind of customer you want shopping in your store
Normally I don't go
here... But this tree has some AMAZING coconuts on it (NSFW)
Good morning
Megan Fox... You gave me morning wood
Birds vs. Planes
This chick loves her some Obama
I'd punch this guy square
in the face if
Zombie vs. Kids
The bike is like "You're
dumb, I'm outta here!"
Meet his twin brother...
Edward Scissorfeet
The 10 dirtiest names in sports
Legos gone wild!
This looks extremely painful
Meet some strangers (kind cool actually)
I wonder if she knows Nastya and Vika
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special.
I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you
know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
Trust me... I know
A girl from Tennessee and a girl from the East coast were seated side by side on
an airplane. The girl from Tennessee, being friendly and all, said: "So, where
y'all from?" The East coast girl said, "From a place where they know better than
to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."
The girl from Tennessee sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: "So,
where y'all from, bitch?"
Bet the drunks love that deal
Posted by Weasel on Thursday, May 21 @ 05:00:00 EDT
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| Happy birthday to Lou Briccant |
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| illworld.com... As seen on TV! |
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| Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them. |
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I love the new line of Saudi bikinis!
Cleveland tourism video
(now you know why I moved away)
What NOT to do when your
fire alarm goes off (but still funny)
Police F'in up some guy
Please shoot yourself
Invisible cars... a future full of CARnage!
I found
someone picking their nose in this picture
Shamwow Vince's brother
Simona Halep has a promising future in tennis (or porn)
Tampon pranks
are funny
This chick makes the same face in EVERY picture (duck face!)
At least they can use the tree for lumber to fix the house!
"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up
for my wife anymore.
"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."
The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes,
Mrs. Thomas," the medic said.
"Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put
your clothes back on."
The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said.
"Your wife didn't give me an erection either."
Busted...or not
Posted by Weasel on Wednesday, May 13 @ 05:00:00 EDT
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| Rajini Kanth can kick your A$$! |
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Fun Fact: It was once said that before a black man became
president, pigs would fly. Now here, 100 days into Obama's term, swine flu!
wow... guess you really can laugh your ass off!
And RadioShack laid ME
off... LOL (nice return policy)
This video of the guy driving into a crowd of people is insane
how about a
different angle
81.5 miles per gallon... I'd drive it
Crackers chucking deuces and whatnot
Train
surfing looks rather fun
A collection
of the world's smallest...
Patrol car
joyride
Chuck Norris finally has some competition
Take a picture wearing one of these
and I'll post it on the site
I'm predicting no less than
9 and 3/4 Oscars for this movie
I'm sure she shaves everything else... how bout those arms please!
Two midgets get some hookers and get hotel rooms. One midget was soft all night
and he could hear his friend through the paper thin walls going, "1,2,3 Hgh...
1,2,3 HGH" over and over.
In the morning the first midget says to the second midget, "I couldn't get hard
cause all I could hear was you counting."
The second midget says, "Well, at least you could get on the friggin bed."
This chart might help diagnose your Swine Flu symptoms
BTW, If you wear a Swine Flu mask, spruce it up a bit!
Posted by Weasel on Monday, May 11 @ 05:00:00 EDT
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| Obamas favorite website... illworld.com! |
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Send me
some funny links, pictures, and jokes PLEASE!!!!
Sally Sally Sally Sally Sally
A little boy and a little girl, both about six, are playing in the sandbox.
Unexpectedly, the little boy farted, causing a little sand between his legs to
shift.
She notices, and squeals with laughter, "How'd you do that," she asks.
"Easy," he exclaimed, "I just farted."
"Can I try it," she asks?
"Sure," he says, "anybody can do it."
So she strains, and concentrates, and grunts. Suddenly, there's a terrible
explosion, the sides of the sandbox fly off, all the sand flies out.
The little boy rolls up the hill, he finds himself upside down against a tree.
He groggily gets to his feet, runs over to where the little girl is out cold,
flat on her back, spread eagle.
He lifts up her dress, peeks underneath, and loudly exclaims, "Just what I
thought, dual exhaust."
Amazing how technology has advanced
KIZZ Burger... Our Meat, Your Mouth! LOL
Tupac is alive!
I've owned 15 and 26
12 Major brands that will disappear (I'm all tore up about Crocs)
The Rap Chop!
Cool pictures of nature (I need a
better digital camera)
Please help support my crack habit
and buy one of these
How does your boss
stack up against these guys?
New NYPD cars
look like Transformers
11 predictions that Back to the Future 2 got right
Yeah... but my woman has a nicer arse!
Posted by Weasel on Wednesday, May 06 @ 05:00:00 EDT
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| illworld.com... your swine flu headquarters! |
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| Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. |
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Got any
funny jokes, pictures or links? Send them to me!!!
Wait... What about Kansas?
On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting
in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did
not have a first class ticket.
The blonde replied, "I'm blonde; I'm beautiful; I'm going to New York; and I'm
not moving."
Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to
speak with her.
He went to talk with the woman, asking her to please move out of the first class
section.
Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde; I'm beautiful; I'm going to New York,
and I'm not moving."
The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do.
The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this."
He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear.
She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, "Why
didn't someone just say so?"
Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that
finally convinced her to move from her seat.
He said, "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York."
Do NOT buy one of these. They don't work very well and are SLOW!
Posted by Weasel on Monday, April 27 @ 05:00:00 EDT
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| Party unicorn says BAAAAAAAAAARRRRFFFFF! |
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| illworld t-shirts! Billy Mays approved! |
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Click here to get your own illworld.com t-shirt!
Well... what
else can you do with it?
It will surely top my Christmas list this year
Billy Mays at the drive
thru
This is the
torture you go through being a Google employee
More on that crazy gun
range mom
Someone test this and let me
know if it works
Something aint right
this this boy
Powersliding is not a
crime... Hell I didn't even know there was such a thing
Didn't know thee was one of these either
Bike trick
FAIL
This
is a big ass moon
D'OH!
Amazing MMA action!
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom
was 95 and the bride was 23.
The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might
kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.
But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase
slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel. The
clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like
you've been wrestling an alligator!"
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak, "Ohhh God! He
told me he'd been saving up for 75 years and I thought he meant his money!!"
I love the Discovery Channel
And Animal Planet
Posted by Weasel on Monday, April 20 @ 23:03:12 EDT
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